Fix Up, Look Sharp

I like Dizzee Rascal in a drunken-dancing-arms-in-the-air -jump-around-like-a-crazy-person-type way innit, but that is not going to make me any less likely to replay this clip of him faceplanting into the ground at a recent gig at the University of Kent twenty times and laugh my bitter twisted ass off.  It always amazes me to see how much commotion can be caused by a famous person falling over.

Bonkers.

June 10, 2009. Tags: , , , , . funny, music, oh sweet jesus, random. Leave a comment.

Ornithophobic? Don’t click the link!

I’m not entirely sure why I find this funny.  Maybe it’s because it’s happening in San Francisco i.e. not in my air zone and not to my head but either way I felt I’d take a quick minute to share it.  I like this guys style.  HE’S JUST HANDLING HIS BUSINESS Y’ALL!!!!!  Reactions are pretty funny too, especially the people who look genuinely enraged by the little guy drilling them a new ear-hole as they walk to work.  Find a new route, one less likely to find you in a showdown with nature.  That’s all I’m saying.

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/video/San-Francisco-Blackbird-Divebombs-People/Video/200906215300157

June 10, 2009. Tags: , , , , . funny, oh sweet jesus, random, tv. Leave a comment.

Big Screen Wally

Sometimes I think that there is still some glimmer of hope in Hollywood in terms of originality. This slice of time usually occurs around the release of a Pixar movie and I feel all good inside. “Wow, toys coming to life! Wow, the last robot on Earth falls in love! Wow, a house flies away with balloons!”

But more often than not Hollywood shows what it really is; an all consuming entity of intelligence destroying, soul sapping evil. No book, play, video game, tv show, graphic novel, foreign film, old film, comic book, theme park ride or time in history is safe from it, and now, well……

WheresWaldo

I mean come on now, for seriously, Where’s Wally? Is this what has been hiding at the bottom of the barrel? Just when you thought you couldn’t scrap anything else up from the dredges, you found this, right next to your idea of making a film about that self-help book written by that 9 year old. I really hope it’s directed by the guy who made Inspector Gadget, in 3-D, with Wally played by that McLuvin’ kid, and maybe he can be friends with Eddie Murphy or Steve Martin or some other once great comedian who can’t find his way out of the kiddie’s flick section in the Fox backlot. That’d be awesome, wouldn’t it! Can you imagine it? Just two hours of this:

694

Except in 3-frickin’-D! Totallyawesomecool.

June 5, 2009. Tags: , , , , . douch alert, funny, Is that really necessary?, movies, oh sweet jesus. Leave a comment.

Beyonce/Sasha Fierce/Joe Jonas

If I had any real interest in The Jonas Brothers I’m sure this video would be like ohmygodtotallyfunnyandhotandsexyandfunnyandstuff but seeing as I really am just aware of their existence I can see it for what it really is.  A video to plug their new album.  And it is pretty funny.  But then it is the kind of thing that you can see happening at drunken parties everywhere, just no-one has the inclination to have it happen in some kind of studio and to add an effect or two.  But the main thing is that drink would be involved. The Jo Bro’s dont get drunk do they? Hmmmm.

June 4, 2009. Tags: , , , , , . douch alert, funny, hollywood gossip, Is that really necessary?, movies, music, oh sweet jesus, random, tv. 1 comment.

The Weighing Kind

nadineNadine Coyle is one sexy lady, there’s no denying that most men would gladly have her as their other half, but maybe they’d reconsider it after hearing about her latest diet obsession. 

Having dinner at The Ivy in London, Nadine ordered a portion of plain fish, no sauce or seasoning, then produced an electronic scales and proceeded to weigh the meal.  Obviously there was somethin’ kinda huge about the meal cos she then broke some of it off and asked for that part to be taken away. An onlooker said “It was the oddest thing I’ve ever seen, but she acted as though it was the most normal thing in the world.”

Obviously all these sexiest woman polls Cheryl Cole has been beating her in lately have triggered off the crazy.

June 4, 2009. Tags: , , , , , . hollywood gossip, hot hotness, Is that really necessary?, music, oh sweet jesus, random, tv. Leave a comment.

Repeat offender

SHOWBIZ Glamour 205508Kirsty Gallacher really does know how to do a wardrobe malfunction.  Following hot on the heels (ahem) of her last incident with a pair of  gladiator sandals which she advertised to the world were £25 from New Look by leaving the tag on the bottom, comes this run in with a bodycon dress at the Glamour Woman of  The Year Awards. Poor Kirst probably thought she was bang on with her one shoulder body con and shoe boot things but little did she know (allegedly) that no-one would be paying a blind bit of notice to her fashionista skills.

And while the shoe thing was a malfunction that got more cringeable as we looked at the photo, the malfunction pictured above gets less embarrassing as you look at it and becomes either a) more jealous rage-inducing (for the ladies) or b) more drool-inducing (for the blokes).

She may have forgotten her bra but clearly she feels she doesnt need it and seeing as we can basically see her naked we can figure out that she doesn’t either.  That is one killer bod and teamed with the fact that she loves sport  I think I can finally fully understand men’s appreciation of Kirsty Gallacher after all these years…

Bitter? Moi?

June 3, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , , . hot hotness, Is that really necessary?, oh sweet jesus, random, tv. Leave a comment.

00-Smoothie

SHOWBIZ Craig 1How much do you like Daniel Craig? Really? Enough to vote to immortalise him in ice-cream form and then abruptly, ahem, eat him?

Well apparantly some 1,000 women like to vote for these kind of things, and most of them decided that Mr. Craig was the one they’d most like to lick, and Del Monte Superfruit Smoothies obliged these sick chicas.

Weird, but not without it’s charms I suppose.

June 2, 2009. Tags: , , , . funny, hollywood gossip, hot hotness, Is that really necessary?, movies, oh sweet jesus, random. Leave a comment.

(Ass)Crack A Bottle

Eminem has some kind of a sense of humour.  He does.  But I’m not sure it stretches to having a man’s meat and two veg in his face on national tv.  Or maybe it does.  The man never smiles anyway, so it can be hard to tell.

Anyway the video above shows what happened to Em at the MTV Movie Awards, and whilst he doesn’t look overly impressed in this clip, rumours are emerging that this HAS to have been pre-planned cos there’s no way they could’ve done this to him without him knowing.  So his reaction of disgust is down to his acting skills? Hmmmm.

Even better is the rumour that they apparantly wanted to have it happen to Paris Hilton but she said no.  I guess Doug’s are enough for her.  Paris is of the opinion that Em was genuinely shocked, and she seems to have some inside info:

“I don’t think he [Eminem] knew, because I talked to someone who was running the show before and he said a big surprise was gonna happen and the person didn’t know it was gonna happen,”

She goes on to say that the whole thing was “very odd“.  Well I hope so, otherwise it was an insight into Eminem’s life that I don’t think anyone was ready for.

June 2, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , . funny, hollywood gossip, hot hotness, movies, music, oh sweet jesus, random, tv. Leave a comment.

Why R U Not Famous(er)?

amerie_art_2Does anyone have any idea why Amerie is not more famouser? She is a total rideface, slamming body, great voice, writes her own songs most of which are pretty good and get dancefloors filled, her albums have great production work, so why is it that she is in the doldrums most of the time?

Hopefully this is all about to change for her cos she’s changed record labels and her new album, In Love & War, has a list of famous music producers as long as my arm, and she’s already got some samples of her new stuff on rotation. First up is Why R U?, which is a pretty good mid-tempo infatuation song:

And then there’s Tell Me U Love Me, which harkins back to her love of dance trumpets:

Please Amerie, please get the attention that you deserve this time. And then she’ll realize that she got it because of me, because of my obvious love for her, and she’ll repay me by marrying me. Or giving me loads of moneys. I’m fine either way.

May 23, 2009. Tags: , , , , . funny, hollywood gossip, hot hotness, music. Leave a comment.

Spencer Pratt Something Something Douche

While talking with one of my friends about Spencer Pratt and how much of a douche he is, a realisation came over me. And when I say realisation, I mean I was looking at the tv and noticed something. It was that FallOut Boy song that isn’t very good and everyone is wearing Mission: Impossible false faces and someone takes theirs off and its Spencer Pratt. Kevin Federline worked his way up from being a back up dancer to a “celebrity” in his own right, whereas Pratt seems to be working his way up to being a back up dancer for big black rappers that I’ve never heard of.

I mean, sure, Kevin Casey (who, if you Wikipedia-search him, comes up as the Michael J Fox character in Scrubs) looks pretty tough and could probably pummel nancy-boy rappers into the pavement, but he’s still entirely unknown, and his first single is called No Surrender 2. Huh? Have I missed something? And it’s to be continued? The story to this video is that you like kicking people in the face and dancing with dudes in the desert. Is there some cliffhanger plot-point that I’ve completely missed out on here?

May 22, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , , . douch alert, funny, music, oh sweet jesus, random, the hills, tv. 1 comment.

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