Beyonce/Sasha Fierce/Joe Jonas

If I had any real interest in The Jonas Brothers I’m sure this video would be like ohmygodtotallyfunnyandhotandsexyandfunnyandstuff but seeing as I really am just aware of their existence I can see it for what it really is.  A video to plug their new album.  And it is pretty funny.  But then it is the kind of thing that you can see happening at drunken parties everywhere, just no-one has the inclination to have it happen in some kind of studio and to add an effect or two.  But the main thing is that drink would be involved. The Jo Bro’s dont get drunk do they? Hmmmm.

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June 4, 2009. Tags: , , , , , . douch alert, funny, hollywood gossip, Is that really necessary?, movies, music, oh sweet jesus, random, tv. 1 comment.

Sign of The Apocalypse Number 5798

genuinely_upsettingI am genuinely disturbed by this image that captures a moment in the madness of Sasha Fierce/Queen B/Beyonce/Schizo’s concert.  I realise that it’s all comic book inspired and blah blah but look at the all-in-one mask/rubber body suit combo?! And her big huge crotch shield?

It’s safe sex gone mad I tells ya!!

April 2, 2009. Tags: , , , . hollywood gossip, music, oh sweet jesus, random. 1 comment.

Is it really worth it B?

wtf_beyonceWTF was anyone thinking when they decided to make Beyonce into an actual vase with this dress? She looks in so much pain but of course Wonder Diva/Sasha Fierce/Beyonce couldn’t let the pain shine through.  She’s probably channeling the whole inner strength thing just in case she does get the Wonder Woman role.

Seriously, I know a diva has to promote her new single with that extra pop but this dress looks like it took a team of minions three days to get her into it. She could rest shit on her hips! I mean what the hell is going on under there? Some kind of horrible corset/Spanx hybrid methinks. This is some “The Young Victoria” shit here and frankly it doesn’t bear thinking about.

March 10, 2009. Tags: , , , , . movies, music, oh sweet jesus, random. Leave a comment.

Schizophrenia; The New Black?

I guess, to an extent, we should all blame Eminem. Or perhaps Prince? But lets focus and say Eminem for now. Not content like the rest of us to have but one monicker, he had to go and copyright Eminem, Marshal Mathers and Slim Shady. So I guess its his fault that we are now under threat of dealing with two or more versions of every celebrity we know.

Beyonce broke new ground by refering to herself as Sasha Fierce whenever she’s in Single Ladies mode, or just play old Beyonce whenever she thinks about If I Were A Boy. To the untrained eye, there’s very little difference between the two characters, so here goes nothing. This, I’m guessing, is Beyonce:

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Demure, friendly, approachable. The kind of celebrity who will hold your hand on the final of X-Factor instead of slapping you with it and screaming at you to get a hold of yourself, there’s millions of people watching! Nice lady.

So then this must be Miss Fierce:

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Crazy hair, dancing like a crazed epileptic of her meds, screams at her clothes designer mama “Less! Less you Bitch, LESSSS!” but doesn’t listen when her mama tries to explain that she seems to be married to a black goldfish. Crazy lady.

And we all thought that might be the end of it. But no. Perhaps in retaliation of the blatant ripoff of her own song Like A Boy, or perhaps a publicity stunt at her own TRIPLE-ALBUM due to release in February (fuck you and your double album, B!), Ciara seems to have come out with all bi-polar guns blazing. Everyone who knows Ciara knows she is hot and flexible and seems to look amazing every second of every day:

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But now she has come up with an alter-ego of her own, the not very imaginatively titled Super C!:

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She’s got DC Comics artist Bernard Chang to do the album art work for her, so she’s really going all out on this one. But, on the plus side, she’s got some amazing producers doing songs on it for her, including Tricky Stewart (Rihanna’s Umbrella, Beyonce’s Single Ladies), Danja (Britney’s Gimme More, Pink’s Sober), The Clutch (Omarion’s Ice Box, Timbaland’s The Way I Are), Sean Garrett (Destinys Child’s Lose My Breath, Pussycat Dolls’ Buttonz), Polow Da Don (Fergie’s London Bridge, Chris Brown’s Forever), and more like Darchild, T-Pain, Ne-Yo, Scott Storch, Bloodshy & Avant and Justin Timberlake. And, if that weren’t awesome enough, here’s the first video single release for a song called Go Girl:

And and, if that weren’t enough, a first taste of a future single, and my favourite song I’ve heard in 2008, Echo:

Yes, you’re very welcome.

December 27, 2008. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , . funny, music, oh sweet jesus, random. Leave a comment.