Ornithophobic? Don’t click the link!

I’m not entirely sure why I find this funny.  Maybe it’s because it’s happening in San Francisco i.e. not in my air zone and not to my head but either way I felt I’d take a quick minute to share it.  I like this guys style.  HE’S JUST HANDLING HIS BUSINESS Y’ALL!!!!!  Reactions are pretty funny too, especially the people who look genuinely enraged by the little guy drilling them a new ear-hole as they walk to work.  Find a new route, one less likely to find you in a showdown with nature.  That’s all I’m saying.

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/video/San-Francisco-Blackbird-Divebombs-People/Video/200906215300157

June 10, 2009. Tags: , , , , . funny, oh sweet jesus, random, tv. Leave a comment.

Beyonce/Sasha Fierce/Joe Jonas

If I had any real interest in The Jonas Brothers I’m sure this video would be like ohmygodtotallyfunnyandhotandsexyandfunnyandstuff but seeing as I really am just aware of their existence I can see it for what it really is.  A video to plug their new album.  And it is pretty funny.  But then it is the kind of thing that you can see happening at drunken parties everywhere, just no-one has the inclination to have it happen in some kind of studio and to add an effect or two.  But the main thing is that drink would be involved. The Jo Bro’s dont get drunk do they? Hmmmm.

June 4, 2009. Tags: , , , , , . douch alert, funny, hollywood gossip, Is that really necessary?, movies, music, oh sweet jesus, random, tv. 1 comment.

The Weighing Kind

nadineNadine Coyle is one sexy lady, there’s no denying that most men would gladly have her as their other half, but maybe they’d reconsider it after hearing about her latest diet obsession. 

Having dinner at The Ivy in London, Nadine ordered a portion of plain fish, no sauce or seasoning, then produced an electronic scales and proceeded to weigh the meal.  Obviously there was somethin’ kinda huge about the meal cos she then broke some of it off and asked for that part to be taken away. An onlooker said “It was the oddest thing I’ve ever seen, but she acted as though it was the most normal thing in the world.”

Obviously all these sexiest woman polls Cheryl Cole has been beating her in lately have triggered off the crazy.

June 4, 2009. Tags: , , , , , . hollywood gossip, hot hotness, Is that really necessary?, music, oh sweet jesus, random, tv. Leave a comment.

Repeat offender

SHOWBIZ Glamour 205508Kirsty Gallacher really does know how to do a wardrobe malfunction.  Following hot on the heels (ahem) of her last incident with a pair of  gladiator sandals which she advertised to the world were £25 from New Look by leaving the tag on the bottom, comes this run in with a bodycon dress at the Glamour Woman of  The Year Awards. Poor Kirst probably thought she was bang on with her one shoulder body con and shoe boot things but little did she know (allegedly) that no-one would be paying a blind bit of notice to her fashionista skills.

And while the shoe thing was a malfunction that got more cringeable as we looked at the photo, the malfunction pictured above gets less embarrassing as you look at it and becomes either a) more jealous rage-inducing (for the ladies) or b) more drool-inducing (for the blokes).

She may have forgotten her bra but clearly she feels she doesnt need it and seeing as we can basically see her naked we can figure out that she doesn’t either.  That is one killer bod and teamed with the fact that she loves sport  I think I can finally fully understand men’s appreciation of Kirsty Gallacher after all these years…

Bitter? Moi?

June 3, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , , . hot hotness, Is that really necessary?, oh sweet jesus, random, tv. Leave a comment.

(Ass)Crack A Bottle

Eminem has some kind of a sense of humour.  He does.  But I’m not sure it stretches to having a man’s meat and two veg in his face on national tv.  Or maybe it does.  The man never smiles anyway, so it can be hard to tell.

Anyway the video above shows what happened to Em at the MTV Movie Awards, and whilst he doesn’t look overly impressed in this clip, rumours are emerging that this HAS to have been pre-planned cos there’s no way they could’ve done this to him without him knowing.  So his reaction of disgust is down to his acting skills? Hmmmm.

Even better is the rumour that they apparantly wanted to have it happen to Paris Hilton but she said no.  I guess Doug’s are enough for her.  Paris is of the opinion that Em was genuinely shocked, and she seems to have some inside info:

“I don’t think he [Eminem] knew, because I talked to someone who was running the show before and he said a big surprise was gonna happen and the person didn’t know it was gonna happen,”

She goes on to say that the whole thing was “very odd“.  Well I hope so, otherwise it was an insight into Eminem’s life that I don’t think anyone was ready for.

June 2, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , . funny, hollywood gossip, hot hotness, movies, music, oh sweet jesus, random, tv. Leave a comment.

Spencer Pratt Something Something Douche

While talking with one of my friends about Spencer Pratt and how much of a douche he is, a realisation came over me. And when I say realisation, I mean I was looking at the tv and noticed something. It was that FallOut Boy song that isn’t very good and everyone is wearing Mission: Impossible false faces and someone takes theirs off and its Spencer Pratt. Kevin Federline worked his way up from being a back up dancer to a “celebrity” in his own right, whereas Pratt seems to be working his way up to being a back up dancer for big black rappers that I’ve never heard of.

I mean, sure, Kevin Casey (who, if you Wikipedia-search him, comes up as the Michael J Fox character in Scrubs) looks pretty tough and could probably pummel nancy-boy rappers into the pavement, but he’s still entirely unknown, and his first single is called No Surrender 2. Huh? Have I missed something? And it’s to be continued? The story to this video is that you like kicking people in the face and dancing with dudes in the desert. Is there some cliffhanger plot-point that I’ve completely missed out on here?

May 22, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , , . douch alert, funny, music, oh sweet jesus, random, the hills, tv. 1 comment.

The only thing it doesn’t tell you…

Vancouver

Is if it’s a boy or a girl.  Seriously.  This thing looks like a pregnancy spliff test.  And yet it is the design of choice for the Vancouver 2010 Olympics. 

Actually people really have latched onto the idea that it looks like it’s full of the happy feelings and have renamed it The Olympic Toke.  Vancouver seems to be friendly toward mary-jane as it is and so the symbol is very appropriate according to Jodie Emery of Cannibas Culture magazine:

“A lot of people come to Vancouver because it’s marijuana-friendly, so I think people who already enjoy a joint themselves will feel a little more kinship to the Olympics,” said Emery, who ran as a Green party candidate in the provincial election this month.”

Indeed.  Of course the people who actually came up with the design itself have a different take on the image.  And to be fair the words of this woman, Ms. Suzanna Reeves Director of Communications for the committee are truly hilarious:

“…people’s faces light up when they get the chance to hold it.  At Nathan Phillips Square a couple of weeks ago, Reeves said she had the torch in a bag when a cyclist went by and did a double-take when he saw what she had. Reeves said what she sees when she looks at the torch is the edge of snow and an unfurling flag. “It’s quite magical. Most people’s reactions are emotional,” she said.”

Does anyone else think that reading her words could be even more hella funny after a couple of goes of The Olympic Toke?

May 22, 2009. Tags: , , , , , . funny, hot hotness, oh sweet jesus, random, tv. Leave a comment.

Oh. Dear. God.

grimnessI swear to god this photo just almost made me lose my breakfast.  Paris Hilton is a menace!  She looks like she’s about to lick his entire face.  It’s like a kiss from Date Movie, I mean that shit is embarrassing.  I may never kiss another living soul again because that image there is burned onto my retinas for life.  But maybe Doug is into the kiss of an overenthusiastic Golden Retriever? Not judging by this pic:

panic

He has the body language of soemone standing at the top of stairs about to fall off, trying to direct his lower body backwards knowing that it’s pointless cos his ass is falling all the way down. Down her oesophagus by the looks of it. And she is not letting his ass go either *note the “tender” hands-clamped-around-face gesture.  Doug seems to mention the uncoolness of her assault on his face and attempt to start what may never have been started before in the history of their relationship – a conversation, but she’s not bothered:

round_2

She’s ready for Round 2.  You gotta feel for that guy in the foreground of the photo who has obviously witnessed it all first hand. He has that dead look in his eyes of a man who has been broken by what he has seen.

May 22, 2009. Tags: , , , , . douch alert, hollywood gossip, hot hotness, movies, music, oh sweet jesus, random, the hills, tv. 2 comments.

Hope for us all

new_career

It’s been a while since Ms.Port has made an appearance on this ‘ere blog so here she is, getting the Dodgers v Mets game started.  I’m sure that has much more significance than I can imagine/care about, but the real reason that I bothered mentioning this is because Whitney threw the ball to her brother.  And the reason Whitney looks like she half knows what she’s doing is because Whitney used to play softball as a kid.  Which brings us to the real reason she is mentioned here today:

there_is_hope

I could look at this picture all day and take comfort.  Look at all those freckles! Where have they gone to now Whit? I miss them.

May 21, 2009. Tags: , , , , . funny, hollywood gossip, hot hotness, the hills, tv. Leave a comment.

Paris Hilton; Agony Aunt

141439_paris-hilton-001_jpg5051ad08145f120e4e77da3a3ddb0f41While in Cannes this week promoting her new film, someone from ITN got a few seconds alone with Paris’ attention and asked her how she felt about the whole Jordan/Peter Andre break-up. Why anyone would think that Paris would know anything about Jordan or Peter Andre is beyond me, but in this case, their instincts turned up a winner, as Paris was able to respond… in a typically Paris-ian way.

Interviewer: Paris, any thoughts on the Jordan and Peter break up?

Paris: I’m not sad. I don’t know him. I know her, she’s cute so hopefully she’ll like being single.

Interviewer: Do you think she’ll cope during the break up?

Paris: Yeah! She can rock it!

Hmmm. I have the very strong impression that she has no idea what the interviewer was asking her. But then she was probably preoccupied with the critical reaction to her movie. And, unlike her previous movie “efforts” like House Of Wax or The Hottie & The Nottie, this is a serious film. A documentary no less. But, exactly like her previous movie “efforts”, it’s all about her. The film is called Paris, Not France and is all about the difficulties of being an attractive mid-twenties heir to billions, and is filled with honest truths like “People see me as a Barbie with a perfect life, a fantasy… maybe that’s what they like” and “There’s a mystery about me because how I am in public is completely different to how I am in private.”

Not so sure about that, Par. Most people like to have sex in private, whereas your sex can be accessed to be anyone with a wi-fi connection. But that infamous moment in her life is dealt with to: “It’s the most intimate thing you can do and the whole f***ing world is watching it and laughing at you. That’s not what I wanted when I was a little girl. It’s not what I planned. I always looked up to people like Princess Diana and now I can never be like that.” Yeah, because everyone was really getting a sense of Diana deja-vu from you with the half-naked red carpet appearances, dodgy r’n’b albums, crappy reality tv shows, DUI charges and stints behind bars. It was only when the sex-tape was leaked that we realised there were some differences in you two after all.

May 18, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , . douch alert, funny, hollywood gossip, movies, music, oh sweet jesus, random, tv. Leave a comment.

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