Why R U Not Famous(er)?

amerie_art_2Does anyone have any idea why Amerie is not more famouser? She is a total rideface, slamming body, great voice, writes her own songs most of which are pretty good and get dancefloors filled, her albums have great production work, so why is it that she is in the doldrums most of the time?

Hopefully this is all about to change for her cos she’s changed record labels and her new album, In Love & War, has a list of famous music producers as long as my arm, and she’s already got some samples of her new stuff on rotation. First up is Why R U?, which is a pretty good mid-tempo infatuation song:

And then there’s Tell Me U Love Me, which harkins back to her love of dance trumpets:

Please Amerie, please get the attention that you deserve this time. And then she’ll realize that she got it because of me, because of my obvious love for her, and she’ll repay me by marrying me. Or giving me loads of moneys. I’m fine either way.

May 23, 2009. Tags: , , , , . funny, hollywood gossip, hot hotness, music. Leave a comment.

Spencer Pratt Something Something Douche

While talking with one of my friends about Spencer Pratt and how much of a douche he is, a realisation came over me. And when I say realisation, I mean I was looking at the tv and noticed something. It was that FallOut Boy song that isn’t very good and everyone is wearing Mission: Impossible false faces and someone takes theirs off and its Spencer Pratt. Kevin Federline worked his way up from being a back up dancer to a “celebrity” in his own right, whereas Pratt seems to be working his way up to being a back up dancer for big black rappers that I’ve never heard of.

I mean, sure, Kevin Casey (who, if you Wikipedia-search him, comes up as the Michael J Fox character in Scrubs) looks pretty tough and could probably pummel nancy-boy rappers into the pavement, but he’s still entirely unknown, and his first single is called No Surrender 2. Huh? Have I missed something? And it’s to be continued? The story to this video is that you like kicking people in the face and dancing with dudes in the desert. Is there some cliffhanger plot-point that I’ve completely missed out on here?

May 22, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , , . douch alert, funny, music, oh sweet jesus, random, the hills, tv. 1 comment.

Mariah Admits To Imperfection

6a00d83451b46869e200e54f5064888834-640wiBut also makes hints that she may, in fact, be heavenly also. Even though it feels like only yesterday when Mariah dropped E=MC2 on us all, its actually been over a year. A whole year of disappointingly underachieving singles, not-enough-news-coverage shock weddings and entire Eminem hate songs. Whats a girl to do to get more press? Well, whip out some more songs, of course. The-Dream, who wrote/produced Touch My Body for Carey, had this to say about her upcoming album:

I think it’s about just writing an album that includes the focus of all the hits that she’s had. She can’t take a loss; she has to do everything to the T. So it’s basically like we’re trying to make a greatest hits album without using the greatest hits.

Interesting. So what you’re saying is, she wants an album full of hit singles. What an original take of musical output. Obviously they’re both geniuses. But along with The-Dream, Mariah has worked with Tricky Stewart (Umbrella, Single Ladies), Jermaine Dupri (who already gave Mariah the singles It’s Like That and Don’t Forget About Us), Brian Michael Cox (who already gave Mariah We Belong Together and Get Your Number) and Timbaland. She’s also doing a cover of Foreigner’s “I Want To Know What Love Is.” So, she’s working with the biggest hit producers of today, and the producers who’ve given her the biggest hits to date, not to mention covering one of the biggest power ballads of all time. I tell you, Mariah is the Stephen Hawkins of R’n’B. And then you find out what she’s calling her new album.

Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel. Ugh.

May 22, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , , , , . douch alert, funny, hollywood gossip, music. Leave a comment.

What Comes Around……

148580“What’s that sound?”

Why, its the sound of you being bitch-slapped in court. I’ve always said that JT just had it too good. Rich, good-looking, talented, actor, singer, dancer, producer, Britney Spears in her prime, Cameron Diaz, Jessica Biel. There’s just so much to hate about him. But it looks like Karma has finally had a look at it’s To-Do pile and got to work this weekend.

Alison McDaniel has filed a sexual harassment suit against Timberlake and his business partners Eytan Sugarman and Ronnie Kaplan, stating they are guilty of “vile and discriminatory conduct.” McDaniel, 29, said her job as general manager became an X-rated nightmare in which she was spit on, pelted with expletives and subjected to porn. “In at least one instance, defendants Sugarman and Kaplan viewed … pornography while in a locked room with McDaniel and made fun of her when she began crying,” the suit filed in Manhattan Supreme Court claims. McDaniel, who worked at the Timberlake’s Second Ave. restaurant for a year, was fired after she wrote a memo complaining of the harassment, the suit claims.

Uh-Oh! None of that is good. I really, really hope that she gets millions and millions of dollars and deflates his sails so he doesn’t think he can produce his next album all on his own and goes running back to Timbaland so we can get an album full of SexyBack 2.0’s, because then everyone would be happy. Especially me. And isn’t thats what’s most important? That I get what I want? I seem to think so.

May 15, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , . douch alert, funny, hollywood gossip, music, oh sweet jesus, random. Leave a comment.

The Lady & The Tramp

SPL99901_001It was while staring at this photo with the utmost contempt that I got to thinking; why do we hate these two so much? I mean, yes, they played the villians in a t.v. show, but isn’t it all very faux-real? Karen in Will & Grace was a total bitch, but people still loved her, so why with all the hate for these two? Are they so good at their jobs that the hate for them has spread into The Real World. Maybe, but I think it may just be because these two are such total douches in The Real World anyways. Spencer is a lost cause (just look at his Wiki-page, all three lines of it), but Heidi, WTF?

Trying to get her music career off the ground since The Hills is about to die a death and everyone has jumped overboard or clambered on to a “reality” series of their own, Heidi announced “I am working on my album right now. The sound is going to be very fun, fresh, sexy. It will be the Pussycat Dolls-meets-Gwen Stefani, with a dose of Fergie. I grew up dancing so there also will be a lot of performing. And a lot of my songs will be very sexual.” Eh… Great?

Her first single, (click on the song titles to hear them) Body Language had Spencer doing a rap on it (the equivalent of Britney getting K-Fed to ruin Gimme More), then there was Higher with a video shot by Spencer. Then there was Dramatic which Heidi said was a duet with Britney, which was a surprise to Britney, cos she had no recollection of recording with Heidi, and to this date, claims Heidi illegally recorded her vocals from previous Britney songs. Then there was Fashion, which had Heidi all excited because Ugly Betty wanted to use it in one of their episodes, but then they decided they preferred the Lady Gaga version, so they used that one instead. So thats none for five, so far. But then she finally hired a proper producer/songwriter, in the form of Cathy Dennis, she who what wrote Can’t Get You Out Of My Head for Kylie and I Kissed A Girl for Katy Perry, so this was a smart decision. The result is Black Out, which is just as bad, if not worse, than all the songs she’s released so far.

All I can safely assume is that Heidi Montag is a walking, breathing version of the Large Hadron Collider, a black hole where all talent will be sucked into. Intriguing, non?

May 13, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , , , . douch alert, funny, music, oh sweet jesus, random, the hills, tv. Leave a comment.

Wild Em’ Out

eminem-1

This is the pic that Nick Canno put up on his own blog page once the song Bagpipes From Bagdad was leaked on to the internet. Why so mad? Well, because a choice lyric is “Nick Cannon you pr*ck, I wish you luck with the fu*king whore”. Oh my. Accompanying this pic was an epic (and I do mean epic, as in several THOUSAND words long) rant and tirade against Em, a choice sentence being “So as I further examine the track, I hear dude cross the line. He begins to call my wife out of her name! Now as y’all know, I don’t take that type of nonsense lightly.” Hmmm, harsh. But he goes on to say that Eminem is in fact a racist, that he’s “fallen off” (not entirely sure what that means) and that he’ll gladly “meet up with Em to clear up the situation.”

Does that mean a gentlemanly chat with tea and crumpets? A fisticuffs barechested brawl in downtown Detroit? A guest spot for Em on Wild’N’Out? Or is this nothing more than just helping Em sell more of his comeback album? Either way, here’s the song that caused the whole thing. Be prepared for some very, very naughty vocabulary.

May 13, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , . douch alert, funny, hollywood gossip, music, oh sweet jesus. Leave a comment.

Cassie Is NSFW

We here at WeDoFunny are trying to run a proper blog site, thank you very much. So when new stories start running about The Most Boring Woman In Pop, we were going to run it, but then realised that boobies would be all over our page. Boobies off the likes you might find here. But we’re not that kinda smutty page. No, you want that smut, you click on that link there. Like I did. Several times.

So, instead, here is a snippet of what could potentially be a good song on her upcoming album, Electro Love.

Did you know she has a new album coming out? Do you think that there is some kind of corellation to her recent online boobie showing? CYNIC! Maybe she needed to take a picture of them and left them online in case she lost them and needed reminding of what they looked like. P Diddy (tee hee) must be happy about this.

May 8, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , . douch alert, funny, music, oh sweet jesus. 1 comment.

NO!

Just… No.

There’s a very good chance that it’s all rumour, but that was approx 90 seconds of the Lil’ Wayne/Madonna collabo. I’m not sure if it’s more a step down for Wayne, or a step up for Madge, but either way, I just disagree with it’s existence. To be fair, I actually can’t hear Madge’s voice on it anywhere (or maybe I can and my brain has just decided to pre-empt me and block it out for me), so maybe it will never come to be. But judging from the decisions he’s been making lately (including a song that sounds like Viva La Vida, with a guest appearance by Avril Lavigne) nothing can be ruled out.

We can almost imagine how the conversation went down with Madge to get her on board the track, receiving the call while child-shopping in Malawi. “They want me to work with who? Lil’ Wayne? Never heard of him. But he’s little you say? Is he black? He is??!! Is he in need of adopting? I’ll do it! But that name is going to have to change to something more tribal-chic.”

May 8, 2009. Tags: , , , , , . douch alert, funny, hollywood gossip, music, oh sweet jesus, random. Leave a comment.

Is It Because She’s Bossy?

nasandkelisdivorce1More than pretty much any other couple in the history of celeb-dom, Kelis and Nas looked like they had it pretty much sown up. If there was ever a pair that just seemed so perfectly matched to go the distance, then it was these two. And the fact that she is expecting their first child this July did nothing but cement that. But, it seems, we are wrong to have assumed so much.

“I can confirm that she has filed for divorce,” a spokesperson for Kelis told VIBE. “We request the media to respect her privacy during this very difficult time.” At around 3:45pm PST, high-powered attorney Laura Wasser (who has also represented Britney Spears, Angelina Jolie, and Stevie Wonder) filed a divorce petition today on behalf of Kelis, citing irreconciable differences.

Is this not the saddest thing you’ve heard all day? Not just because it seems like a happy marriage is coming to an end, or that there is another child being brought into the world via a a broken home, but because we can no longer look forward to songs like this:

Or this:

They’re two of the sexiest songs of the past decade! But now, no more. Sniffle. Excuse me, I think I hear a pint of Ben & Jerry’s calling my name……

May 1, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , , . funny, hollywood gossip, hot hotness, music. Leave a comment.

The New Basement Jaxx Song…

… sounds just like every other Basement Jaxx song. Their new album appearantly will feature Cyndi Lauper, Sam Sparro, Sophie Ellis Bextor, Grace Jones and Yoko Ono. The word “demented” springs to mind.

April 26, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , . funny, music. 1 comment.

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