Spencer Pratt Something Something Douche

While talking with one of my friends about Spencer Pratt and how much of a douche he is, a realisation came over me. And when I say realisation, I mean I was looking at the tv and noticed something. It was that FallOut Boy song that isn’t very good and everyone is wearing Mission: Impossible false faces and someone takes theirs off and its Spencer Pratt. Kevin Federline worked his way up from being a back up dancer to a “celebrity” in his own right, whereas Pratt seems to be working his way up to being a back up dancer for big black rappers that I’ve never heard of.

I mean, sure, Kevin Casey (who, if you Wikipedia-search him, comes up as the Michael J Fox character in Scrubs) looks pretty tough and could probably pummel nancy-boy rappers into the pavement, but he’s still entirely unknown, and his first single is called No Surrender 2. Huh? Have I missed something? And it’s to be continued? The story to this video is that you like kicking people in the face and dancing with dudes in the desert. Is there some cliffhanger plot-point that I’ve completely missed out on here?

May 22, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , , . douch alert, funny, music, oh sweet jesus, random, the hills, tv. 1 comment.

The Lady & The Tramp

SPL99901_001It was while staring at this photo with the utmost contempt that I got to thinking; why do we hate these two so much? I mean, yes, they played the villians in a t.v. show, but isn’t it all very faux-real? Karen in Will & Grace was a total bitch, but people still loved her, so why with all the hate for these two? Are they so good at their jobs that the hate for them has spread into The Real World. Maybe, but I think it may just be because these two are such total douches in The Real World anyways. Spencer is a lost cause (just look at his Wiki-page, all three lines of it), but Heidi, WTF?

Trying to get her music career off the ground since The Hills is about to die a death and everyone has jumped overboard or clambered on to a “reality” series of their own, Heidi announced “I am working on my album right now. The sound is going to be very fun, fresh, sexy. It will be the Pussycat Dolls-meets-Gwen Stefani, with a dose of Fergie. I grew up dancing so there also will be a lot of performing. And a lot of my songs will be very sexual.” Eh… Great?

Her first single, (click on the song titles to hear them) Body Language had Spencer doing a rap on it (the equivalent of Britney getting K-Fed to ruin Gimme More), then there was Higher with a video shot by Spencer. Then there was Dramatic which Heidi said was a duet with Britney, which was a surprise to Britney, cos she had no recollection of recording with Heidi, and to this date, claims Heidi illegally recorded her vocals from previous Britney songs. Then there was Fashion, which had Heidi all excited because Ugly Betty wanted to use it in one of their episodes, but then they decided they preferred the Lady Gaga version, so they used that one instead. So thats none for five, so far. But then she finally hired a proper producer/songwriter, in the form of Cathy Dennis, she who what wrote Can’t Get You Out Of My Head for Kylie and I Kissed A Girl for Katy Perry, so this was a smart decision. The result is Black Out, which is just as bad, if not worse, than all the songs she’s released so far.

All I can safely assume is that Heidi Montag is a walking, breathing version of the Large Hadron Collider, a black hole where all talent will be sucked into. Intriguing, non?

May 13, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , , , . douch alert, funny, music, oh sweet jesus, random, the hills, tv. Leave a comment.

Life is hard for Brody ok? Jeez!

83598480BG016_2008_VictoriaI like Brody Jenner. He stirred shit in The Hills and then disappeared again and then he had that uber-gay concept for his own show that’s finding him a new bro.

In an interview with The Associated Press, Brody discusses things like his new bro and whether or not they’ll actually hang out to which he replied “Absolutely. It actually sucks because I can’t hang out with him right now while the show is airing because then people will know who I picked.” So already they’re not hanging out. Convenient.

When he was asked how he felt about Spence he basically seems to still like the guy (I didnt think there was anyone left!) : “Me and Spencer are cool. We’ll never be the kind of friends that we were but we are still friends. I still consider him a close friend. I’m not the kind of person that holds grudges, so I’ll always keep a place in my heart for Spencer.” They’re still close friends? So what’s with the “walking out” when he arrives somewhere to surprise everyone, evil genius that he is? Damn you Jenner does everyone besides Lauren play a game on The Hills? Seriously she cries everyone episode, someone needs to tell the poor girl that her friends are paid actors.

But my FAVOURITE part of the whole interview is where he reveals the hardest day of his life, the thing that shook him so that he’s stayed on the straight and narrow. A DUI when he was 17. He says It was probably the worst thing that’s ever happened to me in my entire life but at the same time the best. … I learned to be positive: Always try to find a way to spin the positive; celebrate while you’re alive; don’t hold grudges, have drama; smile and appreciate life

Brody you werent almost run over by a Brazilian carnival as a child. You weren’t involved in some kind of kidnap situation. Lighten up!

January 28, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , , . hollywood gossip, the hills, tv. Leave a comment.