Fix Up, Look Sharp

I like Dizzee Rascal in a drunken-dancing-arms-in-the-air -jump-around-like-a-crazy-person-type way innit, but that is not going to make me any less likely to replay this clip of him faceplanting into the ground at a recent gig at the University of Kent twenty times and laugh my bitter twisted ass off.  It always amazes me to see how much commotion can be caused by a famous person falling over.

Bonkers.

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June 10, 2009. Tags: , , , , . funny, music, oh sweet jesus, random. Leave a comment.

Ornithophobic? Don’t click the link!

I’m not entirely sure why I find this funny.  Maybe it’s because it’s happening in San Francisco i.e. not in my air zone and not to my head but either way I felt I’d take a quick minute to share it.  I like this guys style.  HE’S JUST HANDLING HIS BUSINESS Y’ALL!!!!!  Reactions are pretty funny too, especially the people who look genuinely enraged by the little guy drilling them a new ear-hole as they walk to work.  Find a new route, one less likely to find you in a showdown with nature.  That’s all I’m saying.

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/video/San-Francisco-Blackbird-Divebombs-People/Video/200906215300157

June 10, 2009. Tags: , , , , . funny, oh sweet jesus, random, tv. Leave a comment.

Big Screen Wally

Sometimes I think that there is still some glimmer of hope in Hollywood in terms of originality. This slice of time usually occurs around the release of a Pixar movie and I feel all good inside. “Wow, toys coming to life! Wow, the last robot on Earth falls in love! Wow, a house flies away with balloons!”

But more often than not Hollywood shows what it really is; an all consuming entity of intelligence destroying, soul sapping evil. No book, play, video game, tv show, graphic novel, foreign film, old film, comic book, theme park ride or time in history is safe from it, and now, well……

WheresWaldo

I mean come on now, for seriously, Where’s Wally? Is this what has been hiding at the bottom of the barrel? Just when you thought you couldn’t scrap anything else up from the dredges, you found this, right next to your idea of making a film about that self-help book written by that 9 year old. I really hope it’s directed by the guy who made Inspector Gadget, in 3-D, with Wally played by that McLuvin’ kid, and maybe he can be friends with Eddie Murphy or Steve Martin or some other once great comedian who can’t find his way out of the kiddie’s flick section in the Fox backlot. That’d be awesome, wouldn’t it! Can you imagine it? Just two hours of this:

694

Except in 3-frickin’-D! Totallyawesomecool.

June 5, 2009. Tags: , , , , . douch alert, funny, Is that really necessary?, movies, oh sweet jesus. Leave a comment.

Beyonce/Sasha Fierce/Joe Jonas

If I had any real interest in The Jonas Brothers I’m sure this video would be like ohmygodtotallyfunnyandhotandsexyandfunnyandstuff but seeing as I really am just aware of their existence I can see it for what it really is.  A video to plug their new album.  And it is pretty funny.  But then it is the kind of thing that you can see happening at drunken parties everywhere, just no-one has the inclination to have it happen in some kind of studio and to add an effect or two.  But the main thing is that drink would be involved. The Jo Bro’s dont get drunk do they? Hmmmm.

June 4, 2009. Tags: , , , , , . douch alert, funny, hollywood gossip, Is that really necessary?, movies, music, oh sweet jesus, random, tv. 1 comment.

00-Smoothie

SHOWBIZ Craig 1How much do you like Daniel Craig? Really? Enough to vote to immortalise him in ice-cream form and then abruptly, ahem, eat him?

Well apparantly some 1,000 women like to vote for these kind of things, and most of them decided that Mr. Craig was the one they’d most like to lick, and Del Monte Superfruit Smoothies obliged these sick chicas.

Weird, but not without it’s charms I suppose.

June 2, 2009. Tags: , , , . funny, hollywood gossip, hot hotness, Is that really necessary?, movies, oh sweet jesus, random. Leave a comment.

(Ass)Crack A Bottle

Eminem has some kind of a sense of humour.  He does.  But I’m not sure it stretches to having a man’s meat and two veg in his face on national tv.  Or maybe it does.  The man never smiles anyway, so it can be hard to tell.

Anyway the video above shows what happened to Em at the MTV Movie Awards, and whilst he doesn’t look overly impressed in this clip, rumours are emerging that this HAS to have been pre-planned cos there’s no way they could’ve done this to him without him knowing.  So his reaction of disgust is down to his acting skills? Hmmmm.

Even better is the rumour that they apparantly wanted to have it happen to Paris Hilton but she said no.  I guess Doug’s are enough for her.  Paris is of the opinion that Em was genuinely shocked, and she seems to have some inside info:

“I don’t think he [Eminem] knew, because I talked to someone who was running the show before and he said a big surprise was gonna happen and the person didn’t know it was gonna happen,”

She goes on to say that the whole thing was “very odd“.  Well I hope so, otherwise it was an insight into Eminem’s life that I don’t think anyone was ready for.

June 2, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , . funny, hollywood gossip, hot hotness, movies, music, oh sweet jesus, random, tv. Leave a comment.

Why R U Not Famous(er)?

amerie_art_2Does anyone have any idea why Amerie is not more famouser? She is a total rideface, slamming body, great voice, writes her own songs most of which are pretty good and get dancefloors filled, her albums have great production work, so why is it that she is in the doldrums most of the time?

Hopefully this is all about to change for her cos she’s changed record labels and her new album, In Love & War, has a list of famous music producers as long as my arm, and she’s already got some samples of her new stuff on rotation. First up is Why R U?, which is a pretty good mid-tempo infatuation song:

And then there’s Tell Me U Love Me, which harkins back to her love of dance trumpets:

Please Amerie, please get the attention that you deserve this time. And then she’ll realize that she got it because of me, because of my obvious love for her, and she’ll repay me by marrying me. Or giving me loads of moneys. I’m fine either way.

May 23, 2009. Tags: , , , , . funny, hollywood gossip, hot hotness, music. Leave a comment.

Spencer Pratt Something Something Douche

While talking with one of my friends about Spencer Pratt and how much of a douche he is, a realisation came over me. And when I say realisation, I mean I was looking at the tv and noticed something. It was that FallOut Boy song that isn’t very good and everyone is wearing Mission: Impossible false faces and someone takes theirs off and its Spencer Pratt. Kevin Federline worked his way up from being a back up dancer to a “celebrity” in his own right, whereas Pratt seems to be working his way up to being a back up dancer for big black rappers that I’ve never heard of.

I mean, sure, Kevin Casey (who, if you Wikipedia-search him, comes up as the Michael J Fox character in Scrubs) looks pretty tough and could probably pummel nancy-boy rappers into the pavement, but he’s still entirely unknown, and his first single is called No Surrender 2. Huh? Have I missed something? And it’s to be continued? The story to this video is that you like kicking people in the face and dancing with dudes in the desert. Is there some cliffhanger plot-point that I’ve completely missed out on here?

May 22, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , , . douch alert, funny, music, oh sweet jesus, random, the hills, tv. 1 comment.

Mariah Admits To Imperfection

6a00d83451b46869e200e54f5064888834-640wiBut also makes hints that she may, in fact, be heavenly also. Even though it feels like only yesterday when Mariah dropped E=MC2 on us all, its actually been over a year. A whole year of disappointingly underachieving singles, not-enough-news-coverage shock weddings and entire Eminem hate songs. Whats a girl to do to get more press? Well, whip out some more songs, of course. The-Dream, who wrote/produced Touch My Body for Carey, had this to say about her upcoming album:

I think it’s about just writing an album that includes the focus of all the hits that she’s had. She can’t take a loss; she has to do everything to the T. So it’s basically like we’re trying to make a greatest hits album without using the greatest hits.

Interesting. So what you’re saying is, she wants an album full of hit singles. What an original take of musical output. Obviously they’re both geniuses. But along with The-Dream, Mariah has worked with Tricky Stewart (Umbrella, Single Ladies), Jermaine Dupri (who already gave Mariah the singles It’s Like That and Don’t Forget About Us), Brian Michael Cox (who already gave Mariah We Belong Together and Get Your Number) and Timbaland. She’s also doing a cover of Foreigner’s “I Want To Know What Love Is.” So, she’s working with the biggest hit producers of today, and the producers who’ve given her the biggest hits to date, not to mention covering one of the biggest power ballads of all time. I tell you, Mariah is the Stephen Hawkins of R’n’B. And then you find out what she’s calling her new album.

Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel. Ugh.

May 22, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , , , , . douch alert, funny, hollywood gossip, music. Leave a comment.

The only thing it doesn’t tell you…

Vancouver

Is if it’s a boy or a girl.  Seriously.  This thing looks like a pregnancy spliff test.  And yet it is the design of choice for the Vancouver 2010 Olympics. 

Actually people really have latched onto the idea that it looks like it’s full of the happy feelings and have renamed it The Olympic Toke.  Vancouver seems to be friendly toward mary-jane as it is and so the symbol is very appropriate according to Jodie Emery of Cannibas Culture magazine:

“A lot of people come to Vancouver because it’s marijuana-friendly, so I think people who already enjoy a joint themselves will feel a little more kinship to the Olympics,” said Emery, who ran as a Green party candidate in the provincial election this month.”

Indeed.  Of course the people who actually came up with the design itself have a different take on the image.  And to be fair the words of this woman, Ms. Suzanna Reeves Director of Communications for the committee are truly hilarious:

“…people’s faces light up when they get the chance to hold it.  At Nathan Phillips Square a couple of weeks ago, Reeves said she had the torch in a bag when a cyclist went by and did a double-take when he saw what she had. Reeves said what she sees when she looks at the torch is the edge of snow and an unfurling flag. “It’s quite magical. Most people’s reactions are emotional,” she said.”

Does anyone else think that reading her words could be even more hella funny after a couple of goes of The Olympic Toke?

May 22, 2009. Tags: , , , , , . funny, hot hotness, oh sweet jesus, random, tv. Leave a comment.

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