Boner Alert!
What happens when you take the best bits from a Pussycat Dolls video (5 hotties pole dancing), a Beyonce video (crazy tight outfits, not to mention sunglasses from the year 2097) and Rihanna video (namely Justin Timberlake, but instead of just looking at him longingly, you use him like a bucking bronco). Well, you get this, possibly the sexiest video in a long, long time.
God DAMN! Ciara is freakin’ fine! Even JT looks a bit deadened by her sexual assault on the senses. Seriously though, God God God DAAAAAAMN!!
Who can get a crowd more excited?
Forget Obama, forget Aretha and her bat-shit crazy hat, few could get crowd going like this four year old kid. He is destined for dictatorship!
Here at We Do Funny, we love a bit of mentalist, especially in the shape of Tyra Banks. When she’s not busy ordering pretty young things to smile with their eyes or dressing like a man(I have no words)…,
she’s doing this:
Refined whale fat in a tin has never been this exciting! I propose a vote:
A.A.T.A.A.T.R.
Or, Acronymed Album Titles Are All The Rage.
It’s been four long years since The Black Eyed Peas released their last album, four long years since they Phunked With Our Hearts, and finally, they have a new album due out this June, tentatively titled The E.N.D., which to me sounds a bit scary and final. Are they on the verge of a split cos Fergie is doing really great with her solo career while will.i.am has to duet with a single Girl Aloud? Maybe, but the album title has nothing to do with that. It stands for Energy Never Dies. Why not just call it The Energy Never Dies? I don’t know, but it might have something to do with the hip-hop world’s current love of all things acronym.
Busta Rhymes also a new album due out, this May as a matter of fact, after several delays and false starts. What caused all this wasted time? Appearantly he couldn’t settle on a title. Before Hell Freezes Over, The Bomb, AfterLife…… but he caught wind of the rappers love of many letters between many full stops, and settled on B.O.M.B.S, or Back On My BullShit for long.
Flo Rida too has a new album coming out, almost a year to the day of his debut album Mail On Sunday. And what has he called his sophomore effort? R.O.O.T.S., or Route Of Overcoming The Struggle. Ugh, these artists are beginning to annoy, exhaust and depress me all at once. Anyways, on a semi-related tangent, here is the new single from The Black Eyed Peas, called Boom Boom Pow. Listen to it and see if you can figure out why it annoys me:
At what point do they say “Pow”? Unless my ears are failing me, the chours is “Boom Boom Boom”, and there is no “Pow” to be heard of any point. Except the “Pow” you’ll hear when I smack will.i.am across his stupid face for giving his stupid song* a stupid name.
* the song isn’t really stupid, I actually kinda like it.
Hands up who saw this coming?
Lauren recently announced that she was quiting The Hills after years of basically living two seperate lives, and now it would appear that another source of her income is disappearing as well.
Her clothing line which was at best mediocre and certainly over-priced has been put on hold apparantly after poor sales as a result of the current economic climate. Hmmm. Not sure about that one. According to Lauren, she is going to “revamp her line and design with more high-end fabrics… things she couldn’t do the first time around. With everything going on in the economy and in her life, she wants to rework her line and offerings.”
So what she’s saying is that her clothing line couldn’t succeed before this, at the height of her fame, because the fabric and design quality wasn’t good enough and they were too expensive. So she’s going to use more expensive fabrics and make a new line. And what? Charge more? Charge the same? But she’s not making money as it is? And she’ll be off our screens so she’ll drift to C List celebrity. I dunno, this reeks of “quit while you’re ahead”. We don’t want the lovely Lauren going broke and having to resort to odd medical endorsement deals a la Lo Bosworth now do we? “Let’s talk TenaLady incontinance pads with me, Lauren Conrad”. Just plain wrong.
Love is all around
A whole lot of lovin has been going on lately in the world of celebrities, although none of them are necessarily scandalous or A list, they probably do deserve a mention.
First off is the news that Harrison Ford’s old ass finally proposedto Calista Flockhart’s bony ass.
Harrison, 66, apparantly proposed to Calista, 44, on Valentines Day. About bloody time!
Speaking of age difference and all that jazz, Bruce Willis went and got hitched to his model girlf Emma Heming after dating for a year. They got married in the Turks and Caicos Islands in the Carribbean, nice!
Now Bruce has the whole old sexy vibe going on, but it still must be said that he got lucky with Emma, she’s a total ride face. And she’s 30 and he’s 54. Her only flaw may be a case of Angelina Jolie knees (seriously those things are damn ugly!) And now Ashton has a new friend at the dinner table!
Another marriage that’s taken place that we care even less about is that of Natasha Bedingfield and her businessman boyfriend Matthew Robinson. They got married at the Church Estates Vineyard in Malibu and she wore a Vera Wang dress. Apparantly the ceremony was full of vomit-inducing declarations of love and the pictures have an equal hint of nausea about them but lets not be too bitter.
The girl done good!
And finally, another romance has been announced, albeit a brand shiny new one, between Katy Perry and Josh Groban. No-one really cares about Josh outside of America but we know he’s famous and shizz so I guess it’s a couple that makes sense. Apparantly they’ve been friends for a while but then she started giving him a taste of her cherry chapstick and they both liked it enough to start dating.
A slight change from Travis McCoy to say the least!
Unfair dismissal?
How awesome would it be for this to go through the courts?! Madonna has once again showed what a True Blue bitch she is by losing the plot with her nanny. Or should I say ex-nanny.
The Australian woman, who mainly looked after David Banda, handed her notice in and was told by Madonna to leave straight away. I say told, I mean screamed at. Nice. Apparantly the woman was, rightly, assuming that she could work her notice but apparantly Madonna threw a tantrum and fired her ass on the spot.
I presume she’s upset because this will eat into her hour of treadmill, 2 hours of weights, hour of cardio, 2 hours of choreography and 2 hours of pilates every day. Kids tend to get in the way of that I find. Life’s a bitch eh Madge?
Nicely said
LeAnn Rimes is allegedly cheating on her husband/back-up dancer (do country singers need those?) with her co-star Eddie Cibrian. There’s been videos of her having dinner with him and sucking on his fingers and all that kinky jazz but it’s been denied by hubbie Dean and ignored by LeAnn. Well the story took an interesting twist on a radio show called Mojo In The Morning courtesy of Dean’s “cousin” Pebbles. Pebbles, surely a name utterly indicative of a genuine genius, basically outed Dean, something which isn’t entirely unbelievable.
Anyway, a statement has been released by LeAnn’s rep and I have to say, I like their style.
“Although Dean and LeAnn never knew they had a cousin named Pebbles, they are glad to hear that she has come out of the woodwork,” he says. “Dean and LeAnn are also interested in connecting with their other long lost family members: Fred, Wilma, Barney and Bamm-Bamm. So Pebbles, please let us know if you have spoken to them, too.”
Funny. And just for those of you wondering what the man who started all this messiness looks like, here he is:
Yeah, I don’t see the appeal either….
Lindsay Lohan; Poverty Striken?
Are people a little too rough on Li-Lo? Yeah, maybe, a little. I mean, she used to be really hot when she had the red hair, and then when she got all off the rails and really skinny and struck up a celesbian relationship with the sister of a massive music producer just as she was starting to re-ignite her own music career…… Yeah, it all smacks a little. But still, give a sister a break, wudja? I mean, this recession has hit everybody equally
“It’s scary when you realize, ‘Oh my God, I’m not working. And have a house to pay for now,” says the 22 year old multiple mansion owner in her interview with Nylon magazine, who i’m sure paid her for the interview and cover shoot. Does that not count as work? Or the two films she has lined up for release for before the year’s out? Or the new album produced by The Neptunes and other big hitmakers? And did she forget about the fact that she is the face of Italian designer label Fornarnia? I don’t see how she could’ve, since the tv ad for the it came out the day of the interview for the magazine.
But God bless her, she keeps trying anyways. She auditioned for the part of Alice in Tim Burton’s re-imagining of Alice In Wonderland (the part went to absolute nobody Mia Wasikowska), and she’s got some other stuff on the backburner:
“I’m talking to a lot of people right now. One is Sean Penn – I spoke to him again the other day. We’re trying to get Seth Rogen for this project, but Seth won’t call us back. So call us back, Seth, if you’re reading this!”
Sean Penn and Lindsay Lohan and Seth Rogen all in the one movie? Contain. Me. But yes Li-Lo, I’m sure Seth will read the magazine. Are you kidding, he reads Nylon, like, all the time. After Cosmo and Martha Stewart’s Living, its his favourite magazine in the whole wide world!
What’s Wrong With This Picture?
Are you seeing what I’m seeing? This is too much, right? I mean, I know that in order to grab an audience’s attention, you have to aim for the lowest common denominator, but does that really mean that they can’t put a small “th” after the 8? Would that really have screwed up the semantics of the poster so bad? As it is, it sounds like King Henry has seven sequels to his own life. Awful.
What? The naked men? Yeah, that’s pretty gay. No, I didn’t know King Henry liked it in the Royal Heiny-Ass either, but King Henry isn’t playing King Henry. Jonathan Rhys Meyers is playing King Henry. You see now? You understand now?
We Do Funny 