Lonely Gay Cupid Seeks Similar

lance-bassAwh, the poor thing! Lance has had his dream of going into space taken away from him, as well as the paddling pool of random scoring that was NSYNC, has been the butt (tee hee) of gay jokes in movies like I Know Pronounce You Chuck And Larry, Cursed and Tropic Thunder, and not it seems he just can’t land himself a man.

“I’m never really good with matching myself, but I’m dead-on with matching my friends. I think everyone dreams of that nice romantic wedding. And I love kids. I want to adopt and I want to have my own.”

Ain’t that always the way? Always the bridesmaid, never the bride, eh Lancey? But while he seems incapable of setting himself up, he does seem unnaturally talented at setting up his mates.

“I’m always trying to play matchmaker. I never really plan anything. It’s just one of those spur-of-the-moment things, like, Oh, I think they would be good for each other. I never like to force anything.”

Aside from that oxymoronical statement (how can you always try to be matchmaker but don’t plan it?), his latest attempts at hooking random folk from his life together include the now happy couple of Cheryl Burke, his Dancing With The Stars pal, who looks like this:


She’s pretty cute, right? A little firecracker. But I don’t know who she is, so whats she doing on Dancing With The Stars?, I asked. Then I found out she wasn’t the star, she was the dancer with the star, and she was dancing with “star” Maurice Green. I didn’t know who that was either, so I just stopped asking questions. Well, Lance set her up with this guy:


That’s Maxwell Zagorski, and he is an Abercrombie & Fitch model. I am a heterosexual male, and I would happily go out with this guy. The real question here is, Lance, with all your moneys, why not just pay him to go out with you? You fool!


March 11, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , . funny, hollywood gossip, hot hotness, oh sweet jesus, random, tv.


  1. me .. duhhh replied:

    hahahhah i love thiss 🙂
    i would GLADLY take the last guy

  2. ona replied:

    he is ssssssssssssooooooooooooooooo HOT!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Trackback URI

%d bloggers like this: